miércoles, 26 de mayo de 2010

Recapaciting my ideas (another way of saying I'm sorry)

Well...after thinking so much and talking with a lot of people about the decision I took about a couple of days ago, I think once again I made an stupid decision. I'm failing more than I ever failed nowadays.
Honestly I feel like a hypocrite right now for causing so much drama, but 99,99% of the times I get myself influenced by my own feelings instead of reasoning and thinking with my own head and this one was one of these times.
Sure, I'm really tired and disgusted about getting insults, flames, trolls and bad comments almost everytime I post a new video, I'm really emotional and sensitive and instead of caring about the good stuff I always care more about the bad stuff and that's not good. As I said, always my feelings get in the way when I make decisions and I'm very defeatist, I always think there is not turning back when I do something but as my good friend Yue said "there is a solution for everything, and the only inevitable thing is to die" and he is right. So here I am pledging for your forgiveness one more time.
I really love UTAU and all my supporters and fans, and just giving up or retiring makes me a very selfish person that doesn't think on others. I want to change that. I want to show that I care about everybody who support me. So no, I'm not gonna give up anymore. I just one to learn from my mistakes for once and for all and become a better person.
These days I'm not feeling very well, I have to deal with a lot of stuff both in internet and in real life, sometimes I feel better and sometimes I don't. I'm really sorry for taking decisions so quickly...but I hope you understand that after all I was very hurted in all this process (I even get to the point of becoming ill for thinking too much about it), and for now I won't be uploading anymore videos to Nico Nico Douga, if someone wants to reprint them I'll be more than happy, but from my part I won't because it seems oversea UTAU creators are not really welcome there by some part of the japanese community (some do, some don't, can't really argue about that, for tastes there are the colours). And my reason is really obvious, I don't want to upload there because of the comments received (especially that one on the release of Spark)...and from now on I'll take the right to delete those comments that I might find offensive or untasteful. I'm fed up of dealing with trolls, flammers and people that doesn't want to open their mind and just because they dislike something they have to hurt others instead of keeping their opinion to themselves. So from now I'll continue making covers and all malicious comments will be blocked. Same applies to users that really makes me mad. I'm sorry but I'm just fed up. That's the way I feel, in no way I'm trying to get attention, I get enough attention for it is, is just my feelings fluctuate too much, and from now I won't give up.

And I think that's all. I hope everybody can understand my point of view and I pray for your forgiveness one more. Thank you.

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